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cringe

Saturday, September 13, 2025 at 1:41 AM

not my usual blog, but i have something i want to get out that i don't feel like i can talk to anyone about. i'm going to keep this as vague as possible. this isn't going to be on the main blog page, i don't want it on display on the front page, it will just be the last one i made.

i regret saying the stupid and cringe thing i said to him. he blocked me. i thought it was just a joke, but he was serious, and it was permanent. i didn't know i'd never talk to him after again after that. it's been almost 2 years, and it still hurts. we were friends since 2020. this year would've been 5 years. that's half a decade. it hurts so much that it was that easy for him to cut off our friendship like that. it hurt so much that i still think about it to this day. i wish i could talk to him but he wants nothing to do with me. i wish i never said that. maybe we would still be friends. maybe we would still talk sometimes. i feel obsessive for still thinking about it to this day, but it hurt so much. i don't know. i'm still reminded about it sometimes, reminded about the fact of how close we used to be. i have given up on reaching out, he doesn't want to talk to me at all. i talked to an old friend who knows him about it briefly, but i get nothing but “fair.” if only i didn't say that stupid thing. if only i wasn't such an annoying immature idiot at the time. i wish he knew that i'm not like that anymore. i gotta move on from it. is it really even that serious? i just wish we could talk.