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stress and the yearning of spring

Wednesday, February 4, 2026 at 10:11 PM

i suck at music theory. i’m writing this while procrastinating my homework for it. i suck at this class so bad it’s not even funny at this point. i try so hard and i literally cannot remember a single thing we learn. i’m going to start taking notes because honestly i have no clue why i haven’t been doing that in the first place. i think if i took notes from the start i’d have no problem remembering information. my test scores in that class are really bad. i get 20s. NEVER in my entire school career have i EVER gotten a 20 on a test. NEVER. but here i am. i really want to do the homework i have for it but at the same time i’m so lazy and i’d rather sleep. maybe i could wake up early and get it done. i also have geometry homework but i’m less worried about that because i’m actually decent at geometry and i can just make up my homework grade in the class by passing my tests.

honestly i’m surprised that i’m stressing in the most unimportant class ever (atleast in high school), MUSIC THEORY. i could be stressing in geometry, but no, i decided to pick music theory as an elective and make myself suffer. if i didn’t do that, i probably wouldn’t be stressing at all. i don’t know why i do this to myself. maybe it’s because i hate myself just a little. don’t know though. that might sound depressing, but i swear i’m not depressed right now. i get a little down sometimes because of the weather honestly. the bitter cold just makes me feel so dead sometimes. like, if it wasn’t like 5 degrees (F!) outside everyday i’d be a little happier. i honestly HATE winter. winter and summer are too extreme of seasons to enjoy. i guess they have their small perks, but overall they suck. winter has christmas to look forward to, and summer has… being out of school. kinda depends on where you live, but where i live, winter and summer SUCKS. winter is too cold and summer is too hot and humid. gross. spring and fall are my favorites because they are right in the middle with the temperatures and the weather isn’t as extreme. i love spring rain. it’s like, oddly comforting. the slightly warm air with a breeze… i’d die for that right now. spring just makes me feel happier and more alive. i feel much more motivated in the spring. screw allergies, i can forget those, just give me my life back!!!!!